Kick in the Ass

"Hey Mardus, sure have been dragging on ass on editing chapter 2!"
"Yeah, yeah," grumble grumble.
"I'd understand if your apartment was clean and the Yankees were in first place, but what are you doing? You're cooking boogers."
"They're oysters."
"Whatever. You need a kick in the ass."
"..."
"If you don't finish chapter 2 by 1:05pm this coming Thursday..."
"Yes...?"
"Your paying for your friend's ticket to the Yankee game."
"Fuck."
"..."
"Fine."