Mush

I've made good progress in typing up the latest round of corrections and edits, but figure even once that's done that I'll give the whole thing another read from start to finish to make sure 2+2= something around 4. While the furniture I assemble at home routinely ends up with a bunch of extra screws and pieces laying around, I need to make sure that the moving pieces of the novel all jive. Because frankly, the more I think about this book the more my brain turns to mush.

September Call Up

Assuming the Yankees avoid a Mets-like collapse in September (...), they should be headed for the playoffs in October. While I will continue to keep tabs on my team, I figure setting an October 4th (last day of the regular season) deadline for the next draft of ACYW is doable.

I've identified all the editing I need to do and have already knocked off the small stuff. The big stuff remains. Most notably, I've decided to tell the story from the point of view of Besat El-Reeh, the young Arab American reporter, more. It'll still be third person omniscient, but with a good helping of Besat.

For Family, I've written two versions of the first paragraph and continue to jot down notes about characters, voice and scenes. I reckon, in general, though, that the project will get pushed to the back burner while I focus on ACYW.

Next Steps? So Danco Samba

While I would like to just jump into fresh edits of ACYW, I need to learn more about Brazil, its culture, its people and its language first. I have a slew of books, CDs (Gilberto, Jobim et al) and DVDs (the World Cup's greatest moments) waiting for pickup at the NYPL this Saturday. On recommendation from a friend, I have also joined a local Meetup group for Brazilians (or those interested in Brazil, its culture and language) in NYC. They watch movies (Orfeu on 8/31), they give rudimentary Portuguese classes and set up dance classes. All sound good to me! Needless to say, it may be a month before I put pen to paper on this project.

That being said, I'm going to start Family in the meantime. Not writing is making me cranky, even with the Yankees playing beautiful baseball.

Light at the end of the tunnel

Tuesday, December 23, 2008. The book will be done (or, at least, the second draft will). I have 14 pages to edit and then I'll take a day to give each chapter a name. Looks like I'll clock in at around 195-196 pages and a little over 70,000 words.

It's snowing in New York today and when not editing or sipping hot chocolate, the Counting Crows and I sing A Long December. And I have many reasons to believe this year has been better than the last, if not one of the best.

Last Third To Go; Michigan in the press

I'm now about two thirds of the way through editing. I've found a good rhythm lately and hope to keep it up while in the boonies the next few days. Keeping it up when back in the city will require particular fortitude as New York in December is nothing but sugar and booze, at least, usually. This year may be more subdued. Then there's the Hot Stove and Davidson b-ball (big games against NC State, West Virginia & Purdue) that beckon. Whatever, I gotta bang this puppy out. The hardest parts are over, I'm in the home stretch and hey, have you noticed how much press Michigan's got lately?

The performance of the Big Three on Capitol Hill and on Wall Street only justified a scene in the book where bored Ford execs prank call the guys from Botswana looking for business tips. The Batswana turn around and tell them to short Ford stock. I wrote that this past winter. If only I had taken my own advice...Fuhgedaboutit.

The Halfway House

I've officially hit the halfway mark in editing. This feels good, but there's plenty of work ahead. I'm definitely filling in blanks that previously existed.

Working at my Mom's (aka, the igloo) for the holidays will do me well. My sister will be leaving town soon so even fewer distractions although I have taken to hitting the gym once a day to shoot hoops. The local college students are currently out of town and the court's all mine. It's a beautiful thing.

I'm also getting some good background reading done. I finished Muslim Women in America by Haddad, Smith and Moore. Did you know there's an Arab doll called the Razanne? Good stuff. I'm now working on Douglas Brinkley's Wheels for the World about Henry Ford and the Ford Motor Company.

To Be Or Not To Be

One of the things I believe separates amateur writers from professionals is word choice. I'm not talking about impressing folks with unnecessary polysyllabic nonsense. I'm talking about choosing words rather than simply using the first ones that come to mind. While I have a list of about 7 words I try to avoid at all times (always, forever, perfect and my own personal tetragrammaton, l-v-, come to mind), the verb "to be" is right up there.

Substituting was, were, is, being, been and the like with other verbs or by rearranging the sentence typically adds strength to one's writing. Take the first sentence of this post:

"One of the things I believe separates amateur writers from professionals is word choice."

Let's take out the "is" and rework the sentence.

"I believe word choice separates amateur writers from professionals." Or, more definitively, "Word choice separates amateur writers from professionals." I've also omitted "things" which was an example of me being a lazy writer and "I believe" which has an element of weakness to it as it's only one person's opinion.

Are there times "to be"? Sure. I typically give "to be" a reprieve in dialogue because that's how a lot of people talk. If you have a particularly weak, passive or uncertain character or situation, the passive voice that the verb "to be" engenders also works well.

The idea of "choosing words" is a big topic. Substituting "to be" is but a small piece of that pie.

Mish Mash

The editing of Chapter Two is nigh complete. Maybe even tonight! After that, the chapters get shorter and editing should be smoother. I'm shooting for 6 pages a day and finishing up on December 9th.

What happened to Thanksgiving, you say? Well, it's just not going to happen. I start a part-time pastry gig after the 9th and then there's the holidays which'll be a blur.

I've also put together a list of about 100 friends who I'll request provide criticism. I'll give 'em a month (till Feb. 1, 2009) to read and comment.

As I edit I think about a soundtrack to the lives of the characters and what they might be listening to as they work, drive, play. Motown and African artists are in the mix, but being the 21st Century, I'm tempted to work in Anthony Hamilton, Raphael Saadiq and Sharon Jones and Dap Kings. Props to Peel.

An Eyeful

While I typically leave all photography to my sister, who I will credit here with the photo on this blog's home page, I thought I'd give you an idea of where I am right now.

This is the first page of Chapter Two. The pen work in the margins and elsewhere represent changes I need to make and issues I need to keep in mind or tackle straight away.

So for all of you who have received edited work back from me in the past and gulped at such a sight, well, at least I'm consistently a stinker.

That's a pizza stain at the bottom.

Adapting to the paradigm shift

Obama's victory last night has shifted realities, realities that I have to consider for the book. I've edited the prologue and should finish editing chapter one today, but as I go forward I will have to consider how to adapt to last night's events.

Do I forge ahead because, in general, people associate Washington politicians as being out of touch, above it all and out for themselves no matter what year it is? This approach, in light of recent events, I reckon would only go to show that I am the one out of touch.

Do I eliminate the element of national politics altogether because Obama is the opposite of the characters I have and because he represents a new paradigm? That would be naive, especially since he hasn't even taken office yet. That being said, I could eliminate the national perspective and simply make it a more local story. This is a viable option, but it is not a cure-all as it presents its own problems/questions.

The 2008 U.S. presidential campaign was historic for specific reasons. And while still freshly minted, the mere mention of the 2008 campaign will evoke specific memories for people. I now fear that setting the story in that year during that campaign without those players or players like them would jeopardize a certain credibility.

Now that I think about the totality of the book and how much the presidential candidates make up, I realize that when the story comes to its climax, they are on the sidelines. It is the local officials that are more front and center. So here's what I'll do: I'll keep the presidential candidates a part of the story, but I'll keep them on the sidelines. This is do-able and realistic. Cool.

That's what I like about this blog. Not only does it force me to keep making progress, but it allows me to think things through outloud, if you will, while also taking in feedback from friends and others.

Good. And now back to editing!

Excuses, excuses

Now that the baseball season is officially over, you'd think I'd have an extra three hours to write, right? Yeah, me too. Then the local campaign folks sunk their teeth into me. I'm pretty much a goner from now through 11/4. Fortunately, one of the guys at the campaign office knows the folks at the bakery where I'd like to work for a couple weeks, so hopefully we can work that out. This would be key. For as much as I've learned about the area since 10/20 (today I had my first Coney Island (a hot dog with chili, mustard and onions) and learned that tonight is Devil's Night in the Detroit area...), I have not made inroads with the local Arab population. The baking gig would, potentially, improve that.

So, basically, editing hasn't gone as fast as I'd like. I'll plug away tonight, but between now and the election may be a wash. I hope not. There is no reason I can't finish editing the prologue tonight. Lord knows I got enough hot chocolate and potato chips to pull it off.

Fortunately, my next distraction doesn't start till 11/17: Davidson hoops. Pre-season #20, baby. That should give me some incentive to bang this shit out so I can enjoy the season.

Double Sessions

I reckon I can edit pritnear all 19 chapters before leaving Dearborn. This'll mean one a day, but probably more like editing double sessions. I prefer to read through a chapter first making notes as I go (eg, add description here, what's another example of this there, etc...) and then to go back and fill in the blanks. At one point or another I typically hit a wall which is where reading or baseball comes in to provide a break so splitting the editing into two sessions a day should work well.

As I edit I've set out some goals:

1) Smooth transitions: Make sure you get from one word to another, one sentence to another, one paragraph to another and one chapter to another smoothly. Don't leave the reader behind without any bread crumbs.

2) Physicality: A complement to conversational humor is physical humor. Physical description also gives the reader a better feel for the characters. Lastly, it breaks up conversation which may move too quickly without it and with it may help build up a sequence.

3) Know your characters: Few of us know everything about those in our lives, but we know a few key things. This is an area where I need to do a better job. Plus, the more you know about a character, the more flexibility you have for humor, action and conversation.

4) Keep it tight: Every field of work and every couple have their own jargon. So does this book. The book's jargon touches on cars, U.S. history, Eddie Murphy films, baseball and Arab culture. What I can't do is extend references or allusions too far beyond that already wide swath otherwise I'll lose readers' interest, frustrate them and ask them to do too much work. While I enjoy reading good books more than once (mining them for more because I probably missed something the first time), the reader's reward should not come in the second or third reading. A reward should come the first time around.

Make no mistake, I refuse to "dumb down" this book. I refuse. Standards are already low enough out there.

How Far We've Come

70 posts. 17 chapters. A Prologue. An Epilogue. Over 54,000 words and 150 pages later, done with the first draft of Any Color You Want.

This is, of course, the first of several finish lines. Next is a fattened up, more thorough, descriptive, consistent and detailed second draft. Once that's done, I'll start passing it around to those interested in reading it for feedback. Then a third version which responds to the feedback. Then, if I'm feeling good about it, I'll start sending it around for rejection.

Last two, except for the other two

"So how's the book coming?" a co-worker asked me last night.

"Good. Got two chapters left."

"That's great!"

"Yeah," I admitted, "but I've been saying that for the last two chapters."

I am, no doubt, in the thick of it. All the plot lines are coming together like plaid. I now go into fictional huddles with my characters, or as a friend calls them, "my imaginary friends", to ask what everyone's gonna do in the next chapter. One guy who was integral early on has been on the sidelines lately. Just today I saw him on the bench and figured it was time to call his number again. I'm also getting to know my players better, by name not just number. Just gave one a tattoo! Rather proud of that.

I'm also antsy to finish this sloppy first draft so I can jump into editing and make this shit nice. So far, I've got most of the general stuff down, but lately my head's been flooded with details that I ought to incorporate; details that'll give it all more personality and pop. I've even found ways for characters in books I haven't even written yet to have bit parts in this one (and vice versa) which is an idea I like, especially after you've got to know these folks to the point where you actually want to see them again.

Does size matter?

In Billy Collins' poem, "Workshop" he writes:

"In fact, I start to wonder if what we have here
is really two poems, or three, or four,
or possibly none."

I finished a rough draft of Chapter Three yesterday. In the third to last paragraph I made a note to self: This is all happening too fast. And so it is. At this pace, the book'll be done in five chapters - maybe 90 pages. While I appreciate an economy of words - especially those that carry heavy if not multiple loads - this chapter feels like someone's just come by in the middle of the night, spilled their guts and then ran off while I sat on the stoop smoking.

Fortunately, I can invite this person in, pour drinks for us both and let the story unwind in more depth through future revisions. Bits that are in this draft will be pushed into subsequent chapters so that this one is tight. Other parts will be expanded. There are squirt guns. Kinda proud of that one.

In the past I've written novellas of 90 and 120 pages. Some of my favorite books (Franny & Zooey, To The Lighthouse) have topped out around 200 which is where I'd like to be. I'd also like to be 6' tall, but that ain't gonna happen. It'll end where it will end; if I force it to be a specific length quality will suffer.

As in the past, writing's been therapeutic. A number of things I've written in the past have also foreshadowed future personal events, but I reckon it may be years before this batch bears that kind of fruit.

Good night. Good morning.

Thhhhhhhhhe Yankee wins!

Today was my deadline to finish editing Chapter Two and...I made it! What I did not make was the Yankees' game which turned out to be a classic. Damn you, Erin Burns! Anyway, I'll type up a clean copy of the second chapter and if you'd like to read and review it, holla. It's a doozy.

Kick in the Ass

"Hey Mardus, sure have been dragging on ass on editing chapter 2!"
"Yeah, yeah," grumble grumble.
"I'd understand if your apartment was clean and the Yankees were in first place, but what are you doing? You're cooking boogers."
"They're oysters."
"Whatever. You need a kick in the ass."
"..."
"If you don't finish chapter 2 by 1:05pm this coming Thursday..."
"Yes...?"
"Your paying for your friend's ticket to the Yankee game."
"Fuck."
"..."
"Fine."

Gerhard Richter and the Art of Literary Maintenance

Before I even finish writing chapter two, I've already started making notes on how to edit it. In editing, I typically use a few different metaphors to help me along.

1) What kind of drink would this chapter be? Does it read like a shot of Jaegermeister (short and strong) or a can of the Beast (more content, but watered-down)? Ideally, I'm going for Guinness (smooth and hearty, and if the barkeep's poured a shamrock on top, even better).

2) Is it Grandma Moses (no surprises, very simple and straightforward) or Jackson Pollack (what the fuck am I looking at?)? Me, I'd like to go for Gerhard Richter who's painting in layers interests me.

The Layers:

The first layer usually just moves the story along. It's more action than description. It's more two-dimensional than three. For the second layer, I close my eyes and ask myself what I see. This is where I flesh out characters, settings, dialogue and the sequence of events. Transitions between sentences, paragraphs and the general action smooths out. You've moved the story along, congratulations, but have you made the most of opportunities for comedy? Have you introduced or played up the conflicts enough to keep people interested in the characters and the story? Also, have I stayed true to the main themes or have I lost focus by introducing tangential ideas and allusions while trying to be clever showing everyone what a fucking genius I am? That being said, I usually go through 5-8 drafts before opening the process up to public comment.

I had a junior high gym teacher stand over me once while on the bench press. I did a few reps and then heard him say, "OK, one more." I did one more. Then he said, "Now one more." I did another. After a third "one more" I saw where this was going, but I'm glad he pushed me. I've come to enjoy editing as it presents a similar challenge: Are you humble enough to admit that what you just wrote is shit and can you make it better? Ok, now make it better again. And again.